Why It Matters That Your Therapist Has Been Through Therapy Too

Deborah Gillard
Aug 13
5 min read

When you choose a therapist, you’re placing your trust (and often your most vulnerable stories) in their hands. You expect them to be compassionate, knowledgeable, and skilled. But there’s another question you might not think to ask, and it can be just as important:

Has your therapist been through therapy themselves?

This may sound unusual, but a therapist’s personal experience in therapy can significantly impact the quality of care they provide. In this blog post, we’ll explore why it matters, what therapists gain from being clients themselves, and why it can benefit you as someone seeking therapy.

Why It Matters That Your Therapist Has Been Through Therapy Too written by Deborah Gillard, online therapist in Dundee

Therapists Are Human Too

We sometimes think of therapists as people who have everything figured out... calm, wise, unshakable. But the truth is, therapists are human. They have histories, emotions, relationships, stressors, and even traumas of their own.

Going through therapy allows therapists to process their personal experiences so those issues don’t interfere with their work. When therapists haven’t addressed their own wounds, there’s a risk that their unprocessed feelings could subtly affect the way they respond to clients (you!!). This is called countertransference, when a therapist’s unresolved emotions influence the therapeutic relationship.

By doing their own therapy, therapists can recognise and manage these reactions, keeping the focus where it belongs: on you.

Self-Awareness Is a Superpower in Therapy

Therapy is not just about knowledge, it’s about self-awareness. A therapist who has been through their own therapy has likely:

Gained insight into their patterns, triggers, and blind spots.
Developed strategies to manage their emotions.
Learned how to pause and respond thoughtfully rather than react.

This heightened self-awareness helps them create a safe, attuned space for you, where their own issues don’t get in the way of your healing.

Understanding the Client’s Perspective

One of the most powerful reasons for therapists to experience therapy is to remember what it feels like to be a client.

Therapy can be intimidating. Walking into a room (or logging onto a video call) with someone you’ve never met and sharing personal, often painful details takes tremendous courage. A therapist who has been in that chair knows firsthand:

How vulnerable it feels to open up.
The awkwardness of silence.
The discomfort when tough topics arise.
The frustration when progress feels slow.
How scary recalling and processing trauma can be.

When a therapist has lived through these feelings, they can empathise more deeply and support you with greater sensitivity.

Learning What Works (and What Doesn’t)

Every therapist has their own style, language, and strategies. But when they’ve been on the receiving end of therapy, they gain valuable insight into:

Which phrases feel supportive and which feel dismissive.
How pacing impacts the therapeutic process.
What it’s like to sit with emotions without rushing to fix them.

These insights can help therapists refine their approach, making their work more effective for you.

Trauma Work: Why Lived Experience in Therapy Matters

If you’re seeking therapy for trauma, it’s especially important that your therapist understands how trauma therapy feels from the inside.

From my own experience in therapy, I’ve learned that:

Trauma is a process, not a quick fix. It can’t be erased, but it can be processed, integrated, and understood in a way that allows you to live more fully.
The brain can resist deep work. When you get close to core pain, your nervous system may go into protection mode. You might feel the urge to stop therapy, avoid certain topics, or even quit altogether.
Therapy can be hard. It can stir up intense emotions and make things feel worse before they get better.

A therapist who has been through their own trauma therapy will understand these dynamics and can help you navigate them without judgment or pressure.

Building Empathy and Compassion

Empathy isn’t just a professional skill, it’s a human way of being. When therapists have personally done the work, they carry a deeper compassion for the courage it takes to:

Show up consistently.
Face difficult truths.
Sit with discomfort.
Try new ways of relating to yourself and others.

This empathy can make the therapeutic space feel safer and more collaborative.

Avoiding Burnout

Therapists who tend to their own mental and emotional health are better able to avoid burnout.

Just as you wouldn’t want a surgeon to operate while exhausted, you don’t want a therapist who is emotionally depleted. Personal therapy is one way therapists can recharge, reflect, and remain grounded, so they can show up fully for you.

Modelling What They Recommend

If your therapist encourages you to engage in therapy, it’s powerful when they can say they’ve done the same. This isn’t about sharing all the details of their own journey, it’s about integrity. Walking the talk builds trust.

When therapists model vulnerability, openness, and commitment to growth, it sends a clear message: “I believe in this work enough to do it myself.”

What This Means for You as a Client

As someone seeking therapy, you have every right to know whether your therapist has experienced therapy themselves. This doesn’t mean they need to share their personal history, but it’s okay to ask questions like:

Have you been through your own therapy?
Do you still engage in therapy or supervision now?
How has your experience as a client influenced the way you work?

Asking these questions can help you gauge whether your therapist approaches the work with the depth, humility, and insight that personal therapy can foster.

Therapy for Therapists Is Not One-and-Done

Just like clients, therapists can benefit from ongoing therapy throughout their careers.

Life brings new challenges; grief, family changes, health issues, and more. Continuing therapy helps therapists navigate these experiences without letting them spill into their work.

The Ripple Effect on Your Experience

When your therapist has done their own work, you may notice:

A stronger sense of safety and trust.
A therapist who listens without judgment.
More nuanced insights and strategies.
Greater patience with your pace of healing.
A willingness to sit with discomfort alongside you.

These qualities can make therapy more effective and more meaningful.

A Final Thought

Therapy is a deeply human process. At its best, it’s a meeting of two people; one there to heal, the other there to guide. When your therapist has walked the path themselves, they bring more than professional expertise. They bring lived experience, empathy, and a shared understanding of what it means to do the hard, beautiful work of therapy.

So next time you’re choosing a therapist, consider asking the question: Have you been through your own therapy? Their answer might tell you more than you think.

Want to work with a therapist who has done the work too? I believe in therapy because I’ve experienced its challenges and its rewards firsthand. If you’re ready to start your own journey, I’d love to support you.