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Why Conflict Isn’t Failure in Relationships (Especially in December)
Conflict often increases during December, but that doesn’t mean your relationship is failing. Written from a trauma-informed couples therapy perspective, this article explores why stress, attachment, and nervous system overwhelm make conflict more likely at this time of year, and how understanding this can support repair, safety, and connection.

Deborah Gillard
3 hours ago


Trauma Bonding: Why Leaving Feels So Impossible
Explore the neurobiology and relational science of trauma-bonding in intimate partner abuse. As a trauma-informed couples therapist, I explain why leaving can feel impossible, how attachment, intermittent abuse and fear regulation interact, and evidence-based pathways toward healing.

Deborah Gillard
Nov 19, 2025


Invisible Chains: Understanding and Recognising Coercive Control in Relationships
Discover what coercive control really means in intimate partner relationships, how it differs from conflict or situational violence, and the evidence-based signs to watch for. Written by a trauma-informed couples therapist, this post empowers survivors and allies to recognise patterns of domination, isolation, and manipulation and take the first steps toward safety and healing.

Deborah Gillard
Oct 27, 2025


Window of Tolerance in Polyamory: How to Stay Regulated When Everything Feels Like Too Much
Explore how the trauma-informed concept of the window of tolerance can help navigate emotional dysregulation in polyamory and ethical non-monogamy. Learn somatic, reflective, and relational tools to stay grounded, communicate effectively, and grow your capacity for expansive, compassionate love.

Deborah Gillard
Oct 6, 2025


Polyamory & Boundaries: How ENM Can Foster Growth
Polyamory thrives on clear communication and boundaries. Discover how ethical non-monogamy (ENM) encourages personal growth, emotional literacy and trust through helpful boundary-setting. Learn Nedra Tawwab’s definition of boundaries, why they matter in all relationships, and practical tips to help you create connection, safety and freedom - whether you’re polyamorous, monogamous or simply curious.

Deborah Gillard
Sep 23, 2025
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